“I meet all the rules. Full stop” – Noa-Lynn van Leuven hits back at critics after securing World Darts Championship return through Women’s Series

After enduring a period marked by online abuse, mental health battles and deep personal lows, Noa-Lynn van Leuven has completed one of the most powerful comebacks of the season — returning to the PDC World Darts Championship stage just months after questioning whether she could continue at all.

The 29-year-old from Beverwijk, Netherlands, has spoken openly about the challenges she has faced both on and off the oche, describing her return as “a miracle.”

“A few months ago, I genuinely didn’t know if I’d still be around the following week,” she told Nu.nl. “The fact I can now enjoy standing behind the board again feels like a miracle.”

Van Leuven made history last year when she became the first Dutch woman ever to qualify for the World Darts Championship. What should have been a career highlight, however, soon turned into a period of immense personal difficulty.

As a transgender player, she became the focus of heated public debate and received waves of online abuse, including hate messages and threats. The attention, she said, became overwhelming. “I couldn’t enjoy it anymore,” she recalled. “The pressure, the hate, the media – it completely drained me.”

That pressure led to serious mental health struggles. Van Leuven took time away from her job and entered a period of depression. “I spent weeks in bed, watching shows and wondering what the point was. Everything felt dark. I couldn’t see a way out.”

She credits intensive professional support from mental health specialists with helping her recover, undergoing 14 weeks of treatment through the Dutch “Intensive Home Treatment” (IBT) crisis team. “It was necessary. I was at breaking point,” she said.

Van Leuven said the backlash following her World Championship debut resurfaced difficult memories from her past. “I was bullied at school and always felt different. That feeling of exclusion came flooding back,” she explained.

The controversy surrounding her inclusion in women’s darts intensified when some Dutch players, including Anca Zijlstra and Aileen de Graaf, stepped away from the national team, saying they did not wish to play alongside a “biological man.” The WDF later introduced a rule excluding trans women from women’s competitions — a move that directly affected Van Leuven’s opportunities.

“It was too much,” she said. “The media attention, the messages – it all reopened old trauma. I changed my number. I couldn’t cope anymore.”

Van Leuven’s turning point came in July, when she joined a Pride event in Amsterdam — something she initially hesitated to attend. “The Lesbische Liga boat was the only reason I got out of bed that day,” she said. “For the first time in months, I felt free — dancing, laughing, being myself.”

That experience reignited her motivation to rebuild her life. She began focusing on physical activity and new hobbies such as walking, climbing and bouldering. “It’s the small things that make me happy,” she said. “Like a message from a parent saying my story helped them understand their trans daughter better.”

Gradually, her passion for darts returned. “Bit by bit, the hunger came back,” she explained. “First practising, then local events — and now the World Championship again. I never would’ve dreamed of that a few months ago.”

Transgender inclusion in sport remains a highly debated topic worldwide, and darts has not been immune to the discussion. Some players have refused to face Van Leuven in competition, and recent tournaments have seen isolated incidents involving spectators displaying discriminatory signs.

Van Leuven, however, has made it clear she will not engage in constant debate about her identity. “I meet all the rules. Full stop. I’m not spending all day explaining who I am,” she said.

In the Netherlands, the Olympic committee NOC*NSF recently released draft guidance for sports federations on transgender participation, suggesting that “fair competition” may not always be possible due to potential physical advantages in some sports. Van Leuven took issue with how that was portrayed publicly, pointing out that darts is a skill-based discipline. “The guideline is about grassroots sport, not elite sport,” she said. “And darts isn’t about physical strength. No one wins because they’ve got a stronger backswing.”

At present, the PDC — which organises the World Darts Championship — has not indicated any plans to change its eligibility criteria. But Van Leuven acknowledged that the landscape could shift in the future. “If that happens, they’d basically be deciding my retirement. It wouldn’t just affect me — it would affect the entire trans community.”

Now preparing for her second World Championship appearance, Van Leuven sees her qualification as a personal triumph and a message of resilience.

“I’m proud that I kept going. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m still here,” she said. “If my story helps even one person not to give up, then it’s worth it.”

Reflecting on her journey, she added: “I’m so glad I went to Pride that day. Otherwise, I might not be here now. To be back at the World Championship — it really feels like my second chance.”