“He said: ‘If that’s not back there by this time next week, I’m coming after you'” – Nathan Aspinall ranks fellow darts players in various categories

Nathan Aspinall is known as one of the most open, honest, and entertaining players on the PDC circuit. On the Happy Hour podcast, “The Asp” once again showed his most spontaneous side. From his famous walk-on to his favourite party mates on tour and the players you really shouldn’t anger, Aspinall spared no one.

What began as a chat about his now-legendary walk-on song Mr. Brightside by The Killers turned into a string of hilarious anecdotes and striking opinions about fellow darters.

It has become impossible to separate Nathan Aspinall from Mr. Brightside. At virtually every tournament, the song sparks a massive singalong in the arena. Yet the Englishman admitted something remarkable: he barely knows the lyrics.

“I don’t like the song,” Aspinall said with a laugh. “Honestly, if I hear a song two or three times, I’ll usually know the words to it. But with this one, I’ve just got a mental block.”

What’s more, the former major winner admitted he doesn’t actually like the song at all. “I hate that song. I can’t stand it.” Still, he understands why it’s so popular with darts fans. According to Aspinall, it’s long since stopped being about his personal taste and is all about the atmosphere it creates in a venue.

On the podcast, Aspinall was then tasked with blindly ranking famous darts walk-ons by how iconic they are. Once he placed a song, he wasn’t allowed to change its position.

Strikingly, he put his own walk-on only in fourth. “Michael van Gerwen with Seven Nation Army, I think it’s more iconic than mine,” he stated without hesitation. Number one was crystal clear for Aspinall: the iconic entrance of 16-time world champion Phil Taylor.

When Stephen Bunting’s walk-on (Titanium) came up, Aspinall even admitted it might create more atmosphere these days than his own. “This breaks my heart because there’s always a massive debate about who’s got the best walk-on — me or Bunting. I think Bunting cares about it a bit more than me, but I’ll admit it: when that song comes on, it’s unbelievably loud.”

Even so, he maintained that his own entrance is more iconic. “It absolutely s***s on “Mr. Brightside”. The crowd interaction is amazing. But it’s still not more iconic than mine.”

Luke Littler’s walk-on Greenlight also drew praise. “At first I hated it, but now I love it. It’s addictive. You hear: “Kids, you ready?” and everyone goes, 'I’m ready!'” According to Aspinall, Raymond van Barneveld’s iconic walk-on absolutely belongs near the top of the list. “That’s my number two.”

After the walk-on segment, the conversation shifted to his colleagues on the PDC Tour. Aspinall had to pick which player best fit certain descriptions.

Asked who the funniest player on tour is, he didn’t hesitate. “Joe Cullen,” he said firmly. But when asked who’s the best on a night out, Aspinall pointed straight at himself. “Everyone calls me the party animal — no one parties like me.”

James Wade’s name came up several times during the podcast. According to Aspinall, Wade may have a reputation as a somewhat grumpy player, but he immediately nuanced that view. “Wadey’s just… Wadey. He’s a nightmare when you play him, but he’s a good lad.” Then Aspinall burst out laughing. “Ryan Joyce. Not moody, but he’s always got a face on him.”

When asked who he’d most like on his pub quiz team, Aspinall offered a surprising name: Dirk van Duijvenbode. “This might surprise people, but he’s a very, very clever man.” According to Aspinall, many underestimate the Dutchman. “Proper intelligent.”

When the chat turned to which darter he’d least like to face in a fight, several names were mentioned. Aspinall ultimately chose Irish darter William O’Connor. “He’s actually dangerous..”

He also named Boris Krcmar, whom he jokingly calls “Big Bad Boris.” Aspinall shared a hilarious story from the Covid period.

During a Players Championship, several players had to sit together in a small waiting room. Boris Koltsov turned out to be in Andy Boulton’s chair, and Boulton wanted his spot back. According to Aspinall, the Croatian reacted rather intimidatingly. “He said: ‘If that’s not back there by this time next week, I’m coming after you.'"

Chris Dobey also came up. Not because he’s boring, Aspinall stressed, but because he’s totally consumed by football. “Chris Dobey is always on his phone watching Newcastle,” Aspinall laughed: “You try and have a conversation with him and all he talks about is football.” He therefore chose Dobey as the least social player on tour.

Asked who the best dancer on the circuit is, the first name was Michael van Gerwen. “I always see him by the DJ, going absolutely mad.” Yet Aspinall eventually changed his mind and went with Gerwyn Price. “He doesn’t come out often, but when he does, he loves a dance.”