"I have had panic attacks and my depression got worse" - Noa-Lynn van Leuven ready for World Championship debut despite online death threats

Noa-Lynn van Leuven will make her debut at the PDC World Darts Championship later this month. The 28-year-old will take on Dutch compatriot Kevin Doets in the opening round.

Van Leuven has had to endure a lot as a trans woman, ranging from boos during her matches to even death threats online. "It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are – just respect each other," says Van Leuven in quotes collected by the Express. "I just love this game, so I will keep playing it. I have had panic attacks and my depression got worse - that’s all because of social media and that is so wrong."

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It's not just from fans that Van Leuven has had difficulty either, as fellow pros such as Deta Hedman and Aileen de Graaf have been outspoken against trans involvement in women's darts. “Of course, sometimes I am thinking, OK, is it all worth it? Especially when my team-mates pulled out of the Dutch team, I got so many hate (messages) on my socials," Van Leuven recalls. “People were recognising me on the street. Most of them were fine with it, they came up to me and were really supportive. But because of those messages, I was also getting death threats. How many? In that period, on a daily basis."

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“Deta Hedman and I were never really close or talking to each other. We had some talks, but for the last year and a half we haven’t spoken and I don’t have the feeling that we should," she continues. "I respect her opinions - I respect anyone’s opinions. Mine are different to hers.”

Van Leuven in action

Behind the scenes, men's world champions Luke Humphries and Michael van Gerwen have shown their support. Van Gerwen appeared in a video during last month's Grand Slam of Darts to tell spectators that "bullying is not ok." Van Leuven is grateful for their influential voices and said, “I really appreciate the fact that they are taking the time to answer those questions."

"The crowd reactions at the Grand Slam was a bit mixed. At one end, when I hit good scores, they were cheering for me. But there were also a few people in the that were booing me," she remembers. “I think you could hear it on television because I got some messages from people back home and they were like, ‘The crowd were s***’ - but it didn’t really put me off my game.”

Van Leuven will soon debut at Alexandra Palace and will also be the first trans woman at the World Darts Championship. Does she see herself as a trailblazer? "Yeah, might be. Look, I needed those people when I was still doubting myself," she answers. “There was one show on TV in Dutch called ‘He’s a She.’ There were two people on the show who really showed me how life can be, how important it can be to just be yourself. It’s funny because one of them is now my hairdresser.”

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